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Resolved Question

At what age can my son decide who he wants to be with or stay with? He's 11 now.

I see my son every alternative weekend. (Only because the court ordered so.) His mother will not allow him to come to me other than the alternative weekends. She would rather let him stay home alone than allowing him to come to me to spend quality time. I am very involved in his school and other activities. Every second weekend is just not fair on him... 58 mths ago

Best Answer

I suggest you see an attorney to have the visiting arrangements amended. But generally at 11 years, they are old enough to decide which parent they would prefer to be with, the childrens advocate normally meets with the child and then makes a decision (but this is normally done before a divorce). Just dont make him feel like he needs to choose.

58 mths ago

Answers -

Don't ask him to decide, when he is ready or wants to, he will ask you if he can stay with you.

58 mths ago

I have a 5 year old son. The court told me that he's old enough to decide where wants to stay & where he'll be happier. They don't care about the parent's feelings. If the child is happier with you then they'll give you custody. If you were married then things will get easier, if not then I don't have much of a say. I think it's unfair that some Fathers whom really love their kids has to suffer just te be with them. These stupid women have no idea what they're doing. They're selfish or they think that being upset with you, the child must also hate you. Your love for your child has nothing to do with the bloody woman. Hope you're able to sort something out.

58 mths ago

I agree with Vallerie. It's hard enough to deal with parents splitting up. When I was that age, I wasn't asked who I wanted to live with, but I knew I wouldn't be able to choose because it would feel as though I'm "betraying" one parent. If he asks to spend more time with you, speak to his mother. Otherwise leave it until he brings it up.

58 mths ago

I think it's from about 12 that the courts let children decide.Would be best though if you and the mother could come to a more amicable arrangement,it really doesn't do the child any good to get them involved in legal 'tussling.'

58 mths ago

Your son can at the age of 12 decide where he wants to live (called a lawyer friend). Also tell your ex to stop being a cow, as he is only hurting your son in the process! If you are prepared to be a stand up dad she should be grateful! Hang in there.... You seem like a great dad.

58 mths ago

11 sounds old enough for me, ask him for his opinion and see what he says

58 mths ago

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