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I need advice dealing with my ungrateful teenage son.

My son is almost 16 years old and seems ungrateful for nearly everything. He's a great student but has an attitude when it comes to doing any type of work around the house or taking care of his pets. I am recovering from breast cancer (mastectomy) and a little help would be nice once in a while. My husband and I commute him to a high school nearly 1hour away. He has friends stay over nearly every weekend. I make his breakfast & lunch, do his laundry, etc. He's smart and loving, but seems to think we OWE him everything and throws a tantrum when I ask for help. I need advice on how to get him to WANT to help without us asking or telling him. I think I spoiled him. Now what do I do? 29 mths ago - -55 min left to answer.

Answers -

Hard maybe, but go and recouperate eg at ouma's house or at a spa if you can afford it. Let him drown in the laundry and dishes.

29 mths ago

What a spoiled brat! He is showing zero empathy with your situation. You can't get him to 'want' to help you (seeing as he doesn't want to do that currently.) You're just going to have to lay down stricter rules. You've already spoiled him too much (it's going to be hard to get him to turn himself around.) Stop making him lunch and doing his laundry. He can do that himself! The sooner the better! And sorry, but he can't invite friends over every weekend. I'm guessing you have to cater for him and his friends then?

29 mths ago

Stop spoiling him !! A child of 6 can make its own breakfast and lunch. Even a child of 6 does not expect to have friends over every weekend. Take to your bed with a secret stash of bacon sarnies and magazines..and stay there and relax. Let his friends comment on his smelly laundry, and suggest that they do the entertaining. If you don't stop now, he will be as much use as a chocolate teapot to anyone ....neither useful nor ornament. If there is a man in the house he should take him aslide for a serious talk...the last thing you need is a load of stress and work that a 16yr old should already know how to do. It is for his benefit that you should stop spoiling him and teach him to be a man of substance. Write down a list of jobs he has to do daily and give it to him. Tell him he is a big boy now and too old to be a mommys boy. Is there such a thing as a youth group that helps the less fortunate...and hopefully will show him how lucky he is to have a family.

29 mths ago

forget to do anything for him and see what happens

29 mths ago

If you have family or an old friend in another province or country now is the time to go for a 4 week visit. You need it and so does your son.

29 mths ago

No girls in his room after 9 pm and take away his booze and fags...

29 mths ago

Sorry but you are not doing him any favours.He is going to turn into a selfish,disliked adult.Certain things are non negotiable(remember who the parent is and who the child is).Your husband needs to step in and be firm.

29 mths ago

Stop doing things for him, talk to your husband so he can talk to him as well, no friends on weekends seeing that you've just gone through a traumatic experience. I would also go away for a while like everyone else suggested. You are making a monster out of him by spoiling him.

29 mths ago

Take away ALL his grants / pocket money, etc. and NO birthday party when he's 18...

29 mths ago

I have two teenage boys and at times they think I have to provide. I am organising a charity drive and trying to give orphan children a Christmas party, I took my boys with me to help out and their mouth dropped to see how these children live with nothing - perhaps a visity to Salvation Army or similar would change is mind about the home, material items and free flow of food he has Good luck

29 mths ago

I agree with many others here. Stop making his breakfast and lunch, stop washing his clothes and ironing them and just let his laundry pile up. Next time he wants to go out with his mates to the movies and "Mom, where is my (pick your choice - pants, shirt etc) just tell him it is in the laundry basket where he left it.

29 mths ago

Go on strike. Seriously. My Mom did that and it worked like a bomb. It won't kill him. Stop making him breakfast and lunch, stop dong his laundry. He will soon get the message.

29 mths ago

Give him lots of chores and remove ALL priviledges untill he gets his act together.

29 mths ago

my daughter is 15 and this is what i would do : How to deal with a ungrateful child...1) Stop ALL sleepovers with immediate effect! 2) Take away all his pocket money 3) After dinner/breakfast etc MAKE him clean up the kitchen..4) Make him pack and fold all the ironing 5) When taking him to school dont say a word, only i love you and goodbuy...now you carry on doing this for at least 2 weeks and it must be constant..look, you clearly love your son alot and yes just like you i too spoiled my girls and i`m also paying or it BUT i had a choice...let them be brats or show them how to be conciderate and thankful for what they have, it was tuff and boy did they fight me on it, but i didnt give in..you got to make him realize that he needs to appreciate the roof over his head, food in his tummy, a good education he has and by that he needs to help around the house...he`ll try you and test you just dont give up. You clearly value your role as a mother and want to give him the very best, you still can, he needs to pull up his socks. I told my daughters if they dont come right all that they`ll get in their christmas stocking will be filled out forms for boarding school (altho i`ll NEVER do it lol) you are a brave woman and clearly a fantastic mom...u went thru hell and u need help...Hubby is his parent too and he needs to back you up all the way....who said being a mommy is easy huh? Our work is never done..take time for yourself and if need be and you can afford it, try and get a maid in once or twice a week..chin up, it`ll all get better..u`ll see ;) ((hugs))

Source: we neva got a damn manual for this, did we???

29 mths ago

Leave him in the streets for a week.

29 mths ago

Boys at 16 are the pits, why do you think Abraham was so willing to sacrafice his son Isaac at the Altar? (PS Isaac was about 16years old)

29 mths ago

Stop his pocket money until he does his chores, and dont; give in, remove privledges and tell him to grow up.

29 mths ago

It's time to pull the reigns on your son, sit him down with your husband present and read him the right act, starting by helping around the house or there will be no luxuries and entertainment for his friends, this is now pay back time.........

28 mths ago

Give him a break and see if he will come to you, give it time. Dont ask him for quite a while. It is a natural tendency to want to serve and help out. Its just his pride acting up.

28 mths ago

I suggest taking some time to sit down and have a heart to heart talk with him. Use the time when you commute to start a good conversation and let him know where things are at for your family right now and explain the struggles. You might not want to tell him ALL of the struggles, but reach out and ask him for a little help around the house. Start small and build up little by little. I will keep you and your family in my prayers.

Source: http://www.marybielski.com

28 mths ago

He's still only 16 and you admit it is was your fault because you were not strict enough with him. What is your husband doing about it?... he caused half the problem. You sometimes need to be cruel to be kind so get stuck into him and teach him some discipline while you still can or you will end up with a real problem when he gets older.

27 mths ago

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