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Is there anyway under SA law that I can refuse divorce and stay married for longer?

This is to stay close to my son yet separated from my wife. With other words different rooms and beds. I fear for my son's well being in the long run and I am staying without marital benefits for the past 8 years already. He is now about 18 months old. Was told that if both parties do not agree that everything was done to safe the marriage there is a way to extend the marriage indefinitely and I am willing to make that sacrifice for my sons benefit. Thanks

No she wants to divorce me but I do not want to be out of my sons life...
33 mths ago - -4 min left to answer.

Answers -

Honestly I dont know, I have heard that you can get divorced without the other party's consent. I do however not know if that is south african law or american or.....

33 mths ago

I heard the same as Jan...why don't you go to court and explain about your son's wellbeing and safety, you have nothing to lose, let them help you !

33 mths ago

You can only get divorced without your knowledge if they can proof that they tried to find you. Or else you will end up in front of a judge to fight it out. This is now if one refuses to sign the divorce papers. But reading your mail, are you sure it is your son? He is only 18 months, with no marital benefits for 8 years? Anyways, that is the SA process.

33 mths ago

Don't understand when you say you have been staying without 'marital benefits' and yet you have a son of 18months. You will need to rephrase this to a legal representative. l think you can drag out the marriage for a while and maybe hope she will give up. Are you able to look after the child full time? and would you take the child from it's mother? I think you need to speak to a marriage guidance or lawyer before you make any decisions or judgements about the safety of the child, because it might result in the child being taken away from you both.

33 mths ago

Umm 18 month old son.....8 years without marital benefits, doesn't sound right. Have you even asked her if you could get custody of your child? I suggest you go and see a lawyer and sort this out.

33 mths ago

Both parties have to agree to the divorce. Good for you......Your son will be forever grateful.

33 mths ago

I feel your pain man, i come from a similiar situation, if you can get a doctor to declare you unfit for any traumatic experience for maybe a year or so then the divorce can be granted in court as you are incapable of making rational decisions under strain, worked for my cousin, could work for you, also do a search on divorce law loop holes, you would be suprised what people do to get their way, you could also apply for custody of your son as part of the divorce agreement, but dont keep him from his mom, thats not cool

33 mths ago

Maybe it will be better for your son to grow up in a home where there is happiness and 'normality' instead of one where the parents are in conflict. I do understand your pain, really, as my brother has not seen his son for months on end (started when kid was about 3 yers old). But I do believe that if you and your wife can come to an agreement regarding custody and fair access (both physical and telephonic) and if you both take decisions regading the child together and keep communication lines open between the two of you, all three of you will be both better off, and happier in the long run. You will always be his father, no matter what. I admire your selfless action with regard to your feelings, but it can only make your wife more antagonistic towards you, and will ultimately prevent happiness in the home, resulting in a possiby more traumatic divorce and custody battle for your child. Be strong.

33 mths ago

I think nowadays if one party can prove that a marriage has broke down beyond any hope, the court will terminate it. However, I know a woman whose husband ran off with another woman, that refused to divorce out of sheer spitefullness to prevent them to marry. It was not that she hoped for reconciliation. She actually moved in with a man 10 or so years her junior soon afterwards and they are still together.

33 mths ago

You can contest the divorce if you want to, and put your case in court, but why would you want to stay married to someone who very obviously does not want to be married to you? Do you like being miserable or what? And what gives you the right to confine her to an life of misery just because you don't want to let go? Why don't you just move on? If you are so worried about your son's well-being then sue for custody, but you'd need to prove some pretty compelling reasons. Is this really about your son, or is it just you being selfish and using him an an excuse? I smell something fishy here, I really do.

33 mths ago

I dont think so. I got divorced about 5 years ago. It was then called a "no fault divorce. Staying married may not be the best thing for your son. He will pick up on all the tension etc in the house. Laws have changed and u have an excellent chance of sharing all parental rights (unless she can prove u are....). Just make sure u have a good parental plan in place. Contact the local family advocates rooms, they will be able to advise u.

33 mths ago

It's noble what you want to do for your son... good luck

32 mths ago

You can contest the divorce but I think there must be better options for your son. Raising him in a conflict laden environment will be bad. Rather try to get full custody or very frequent visiting rights.

32 mths ago

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26 mths ago

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